My home is a tip, I could never dream of bringing a women here for small talk.. It is filled with full of individual items and project materials: I rehearsed in my mind and aimed to complete, yet I have never started.
Depression amongst a host of outside evils of this world prevents me anyway from motivation. Amongst this is the theiving neighbours who prevent me from proceeding arrangements.. By stealing my expensive new tools and property each time i replace them.
My garden originally was a jungle, when it was cleared, I decorated the garden beautifully: However, maintainance? It became an expensive jungle after each winter thereon.. I can not get motivated whatever I try… Medication and some form of perishable sustainance is all I can lift my self to induce.
It is unbelievable the life some people are generally living… Mmm Despite my medication I take the neighbours routinely invade my premises for my shopping and steal new items from inside my property and blame it on my mind and medication.. : “Gas lighting” and perpetual hatred..
You guess right as the police are neither interested much… I think it will backfire upon them all, some form a mystical balance somehow someway…
After reading through dozens of comments.. The comments provoked further comtemplation: A slight apiphany radiating…
I am wondering if it is perhaps more than mere seasonal? Not as simple simple as the common “Winter Blues” but something quite dynamic and unique to our current civilisations? Perhaps an epicycloid event… which occurs each epoch in the solar system… Solar winds are instrumented by the forces of impeding planetary orbits near the earth… As planets rotate in separate lines of 360° degrees rotation .. The planets slight shift each individual course on each rotation and slightly change the path/route/course around the solar system…
Each planet maintains the approximation of its astronomical unit journey, however each planetary orbit sets a slightly different routine around the solar system… This is due to the “Three Dimensional” plane the solar system is created upon…
The solar winds may initiate a sinking – deep drowning sensation and a sucking – vacuuming experience as planets come into cross paths with one another. This maybe what leaves me always tired more than ever before, since the last two years…
My tiredness has been increasing drastically… I am now at the stage inwhich ; I only wash my face, only when I actually sense ‘I have to summon the strength to…’
Once upon a time I recall : I would have upto four showers a day.. Or two showers and one bath..?
Sometimes, ‘I don’t even eat dinner nowadays’
I just sleep all day with food by my bed side? As serious levels of fatigue set in from each previous night of insomnia.
Currently utilising containers to urinate in, instead of constantly walking to the bathe room..
It is increasingly worsening.. I do not even have the motivation to call the doctors.. I currently lost total interest in everything.. I do not watch T. V, and have not in over 5 years. I realise there is nothing to be missed from such entertainment. At my current best, I may play the radio station which is a good booster but only on intervals, as the music is always the same repeats..
The sensation is akin to “Emotional Paralysis” There is genuinely no Point to anything at all..
I sense disattachment from all things and all society’s lives. Strangely I feel acquainted with the life’s of animals and insects.. When I consider and contemplate things..? I just can no longer see the point in doing anything.. While all motivation left me years ago.. The journey beckons to the end..
Just hanging by a thread for the time being.. Until I can truly know what to do, while unearthing general reason of sense to do something worthwhile?
The world of nature exist in a unique balance, it flourishes were the unstable, false nature of society ends. This which is or maybe not mathematically sound..?
Is the true projection of existence upon earth…
Remain, upon the Incomplete soul in this perpetual damaged reality, inwhich all things are tarnished by the blood of disobedient past dwellers, who descended from the superior place to this earth world.
Or be freely liberated and unequivocally desolved, desolated leaving through the porthole: Opportunity via extreme difficulties and destruction?
In addition to this profound information, is the inescapable reality: ” Stupid people have children ”
Often too many from just one woman. This eventually lead to the rise of authoritive driven communities.. Over great age became empires and so forth.. Ironically : if the stupid people did not exist or were so few in numbers, authority and totalitarianism would not even exist?
I think there in lays a great question which is Oftentimes unanswered ? However, there lays a much broader connection to the things, that we do not understand?
The reason I stated what I did, is due from the investigations and experiences I am very familiar with:
Inwhich such individuals have confirmed openly “They have no interest or intentions for education” : Surprisingly the majority of children whom are held back at school, truant, depressed, led astray, suicidel and fall into paths of crime? The catalyst which led to these children’s impoverishment, were indeed, other children: Whom did not want to even go to school… In the first place. I have met a lot of adults whom discussed their reasons for their school failures.. If you study all children carefully, it is indeed, visually noticeable from an adults perspective, of the difficulties school children have to experience, against one another.. While some children are furthered acclimatised to
harsh conditions, or incorporated the nature within their struggle of assertion, fearlessness and presence, others have not and are without such support?
My own experience combined with all I have learnt so far…? Informs me that the business of education and Schooling is a toss of pitch and throw
((((((((((Big business)))))))))) I do understand it is hugely expensive for private tuition, None-the-less, in all reality I now know, there is nothing worth more than your child’s education be that good home Schooling or private tuition.. Many parents unfortunately do not have your interest or anyone else in mind? Their offsprings adopt the same Psychology… Unfortunately.
I had those experiences right from primary school all through secondary school.. When I mentioned this to my parent on a few occasions, I think she did what most parents try to do, in giving some form of verbal afforemation or reassurance…
That things would indeed improve? I knew, though. I knew mind you.. I had a terrible sensation in my gut feeling… that things would turn out extremely difficult for me due to this.. How ” Strange ”
I knew right there and then, I was 4#@&ed for life?
Strange how life turns out, after ’emotional – Prelude for warning’ via all aspects of childhood.
Research has discovered within behavioural Psychology and medical science, that there exist significant periods of a child’s development stage, that have severe consequences throughout the remainder of the child’s life…?
I think financial stability also strengthens a child’s development, which is true reality also.. Which favours the establishment and the wealthy, not the poor. In terms of this being an industry profit run.. Numbers charts and quotes all allude to fiscal policy…
Those ten, acles or fishing nets catches everything.. The perspectives of the administration they have worked continuously to put such a system in place.. As you have stated along with others how bad it is, I agree.. Yet also to understand that certain characteristics in human types amongst the socio heterogeneity (Society) has allowed this to flourish the way it has…
Also I suspect the governments decreed the Assassinations of free thinking intellectual families and prevented the spread of generations who would indeed procreate with other intelligent humans to produce more intelligent human offsprings..
Instead the opposite occurs.. Those with less intellectual ability and more street credibility produce the most children